urbanXplay was founded in 2019 with a mission to make space for, and facilitate, growth and development of sensual and sexual awareness, acceptance, and participation for Black people, as well as other people of color. ​ We are a sex, kink, as well as poly forward community and welcome all people, regardless of sexual orientation, preferences, or gender identification. Even if you do not fall under what some may consider an alternative lifestyle - there is still space for you here at urbanXplay. ​ We want you to live your life at full capacity and bring all of your desires to fruition. At urbanXplay we have curated an environment of community and education all centered around your growth!

You can find us on the following platforms: Instagram: @urbanXplayATX Facebook: @urbanXplay

Yes! urbanXplay facilitates a host of events annually. Please sign up for our notifications here to make sure you're in the loop for all future events.

We're so happy to see that you found urbanXplay to help facilitate your best sensual and sexual life. If you're looking for general information, you can find it here in the FAQ sections. Our social media is also a great resource for community fielded questions & answers. While we don't currently offer 1:1 services, we look forward to providing them in the future 😊

First, thank you for wanting to support urbanXplay and our community. Support can take many forms - so feel free to do any of the following: Like & share our social media content Follow our social media pages Make donations to: $urbanXplay via CashApp

Polyamory (noun): (from Greek poly,"many, several", and Latin amor "love") Is the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time Meridian - Webster Dictionary Polyamory can take many different shapes and variations including open, closed, triads, polycules, and that's just the tip.

Research: Before you do anything else - do your homework! What is polyamory? What do you hope to get out of your polyamorous dynamics? What type of dynamic are you open to, and WHY? Research allows you the ability to be confident, knowledgeable, and likely helps with a bit of decisiveness. This is a great stage for you to define your likes & dislikes, but more importantly your boundaries & limits. This stage can shine a light on the fact that you are not alone in your wants and your desires which will help you out with this next tip. Find your tribe The Polyam community is just that, a community. Many of us come together for everything from human rights to dinner. You will want to find the people that make you feel safe, heard, and with whom you can learn with and/or learn from. Finding community can be as simple as going to social media. I mean, look at us here at urbanXplay! Many people find their community online through platforms such as Instagram, Facebook, or Tumblr. Join groups and allow yourself some time to sit back and observe the group, read through posts for education, even ask your own question, and attend an event that the group is throwing locally, if you can. Self Reflection This last step is one of the MOST important. All too often people find themselves jumping head first into dynamics without doing some internal work. Before you venture out to join into someones quad, or hell even slip into their DMs, make sure that you've done some self reflection. Be able to answer questions such as the following: Why you want a polyamorous dynamic? What are you looking for? How have you worked on yourself in the last 6 months, last year? How do you deal with jealousy? What does compersion mean to you? And really, anything in between. These are just a few fun questions to point you in the right direction on your self reflection journey!

A structure between two or more people that does allow for additional partners, in some capacity. These can be romantic, physical, or a combination of the two. Rules can be put in place for this type of structure to ensure safety and provide guidelines for each person in the dynamic to follow. Open does not equate to "free for all".

A structure between two or more people that does not allow for additional partners, sexually or romantically.

Yes! See below for a break down of a few common relationship structures.

Relationships with three partners in which two of the partners dates the same person, but not each other.

Relationships with three partners in which all three partners date each other. Can be closed or open.

Relationships with four partners that all intertwine either physically, romantically, or both. Can be closed or open.

Polygamy: A person with more than one spouse Polaygyny: A man with more than one wife Polandry: A woman with more than one husband

Yes! See below for a break down of a few common dynamics.

In this type of dynamic, a person holds themselves as their primary. This person is still polyamorous and may have multiple partners but does not find coupled or in a closed relationship with others.

In this type of dynamic, all partners are open to connecting with each other, platonically. This could look like partners coming over for dinner, attending children's birthday parties, or events even though they're from various relationships within the group.

In this type of dynamic, the relationships run parallel to each other and do not intertwine with each other as they do in Kitchen Table poly.

In this type of dynamic, each relationship within the dynamic are considered on an equal playing field - there is no primary partner.

In this type of dynamic, each relationship within the dynamic holds a different level of prioritization. You may see terms like primary or secondary used here.

Kink (noun): a sharp twist or curve in something that is otherwise straight - Oxford Dictionary "Unconverntional sensual, erotic, and sexual behaviors (herin referred to as kink behavior)" - Professor Jennifer Eve Rehor Department of Sociology and Sexuality Studies, San Franciso State University All of this to say - kink, with reference to sexuality, is an abstract way of achieving sensual and sexual gratification. Think about kink as derived from the typical definition as "bending" or a "twist" to typical vanilla, mainstream sensual and sexual gratification.

Bondage & Discipline. Dominance & Submission. Sadism & Masochism. A collection of erotic practices based in communication, consent, and structure.

Research Before you do anything else - do your homework! What is kink? What do you hope to get out of a bdsm dynamic? What are your kinks? Are you a submissive or a Dominant, or both? Research allows you the ability to be confident, knowledgeable, and likely helps with a bit of decisiveness. This is a great stage for you to define your likes & dislikes, but more importantly your boundaries & limits. But most importantly, research can help you find new things that you couldn't have even imagined you'd be interested in. Research can shine a light on the fact that you are not alone in your wants and your desires which will help you out with this next tip. Find your tribe The BDSM community is just that, a community. Many of us come together for everything from human rights to dinner. You will want to find the people that make you feel safe, heard, and with whom you can learn with and/or learn from. Finding community can be as simple as going to social media. I mean, look at us here at urbanXplay! Many people find their community online through platforms such as Instagram or Tumblr. You can also find local communities via Fetlife. While Fetlife is essentially another social media platform - they also provide events to local meetups known as "munches". Munches are vanilla, public meetups to get to know other kinsters in your local community. Safely Practice & Explore Now, you can begin to safely practice and explore your kinks. Make sure to let any of your play partners know what your current level of experience is so that they can adequately set their expectations as well as take their own safety precautions. This is a great stage to attend workshops/classes. Play parties may also be a good idea here - remember watching is participating. So don't feel inclined to "join in" play if you're not quite ready. You may also find yourself practicing your flogging on a chair, a single column ties on a stair rail, and spanking intensity levels on your own thighs :)

There is always more learning to be done - don't ever stop learning in this lifestyle. Be open to new tactics, practices, and understandings. Attend workshops, trainings, seminars, etc. Everyone won't be into everything, and that is okay. The golden rule: do not yuck someone else's yum. Someone may not be interested in your kink and you may not be interested in someone else's - no issue! As long as we keep things Safe, Sane, and Consensual - we're good! Vet your partners! Dominants, submissives, Tops, bottoms, all of it. Do your research on people just as you would on a particular kink itself. Allow yourself, and others, the grace of flexibility. You may have thought you were into something, then tried it and you weren't, THAT IS OKAY! Your boundaries may, and likely will, vary over time. Some boundaries can even vary based on a particular partner - that's okay! Communication is EVERYTHING. In this lifestyle we are essentially bearing our souls. We are participating in activities that can result in serious physical injury and/or mental health exacerbation. Communication is key to making sure that we are practicing safely and that our partners are physically and mentally safe with us.

Yes! BDSM dynamics can all be different from each other - but the most common are: Dom/ sub Caregiver/ little Master/ slave Owner/ pet

A person (not gender specific) that derives mental and/or physical pleasure from submitting to others.

A person (not gender specific) that derives mental and/or physical pleasure from dominating others.

A person (not gender specific) that enjoys both the position of a submissive as well as the position of a Dominant.

A scene is an interaction between folx in the BDSM community. A scene can involve sex, but can also be non-sexual kink activities such as suspension, impact play, etc.

Vetting is the act of researching a potential partner. This can look like vanilla meetups for Q&A or speaking to previous or current play partners. This is an important step because in the community safety is everything and your safety takes priority over wanting quick interactions. Vetting partners allows for you to get to know someones style, what they're looking for, whether you're both a good fit for each other, etc.

A public, vanilla meet up of kinsters in the local community. Typically happens at a local restaurant or bar. This is a great opportunity to meet people without the pressures of a play party. Munches can be found through local communities which you can find online. An easy place to find online event information is FetLife but you can also utilize social media to see what is going on locally.

A party in which kinsters come together to indulge in kinky fuckery. This party is hosted at a discrete location and usually has at minimum 1 facilitator of the event. A party may be only demos of kink activities with no sexual interource for attendees or there may be a designated area for play.

This is a euphoric space that a submissive can find themselves in. Subspace is different for different people, just like orgasms. It is induced by a high level of Oxycontin being released into the blood stream and result in fairly high endorphins. This can look like hightened intensity of sensation, fogginess, and feelings of "slipping".

Sub or Dom drop can typically happens after an intense scene. It is a time when the body goes from having high levels of oxytocin and endorphins to being drained of it all. Drop can be different for different people, but can look like feeling emotionally needy & needing physical comfort.

The act of a Dominant providing a collar to a submissive to signify their commitment to each other & their relationship status. This is a significant step in a BDSM dynamic and should not be taken lightly. Many in the community can see it as the equivalent of a proposal in a vanilla relationship.

In any sexual interaction we are looking for enthusiastic consent - this is not a BDSM specific term. If a partner(s) is not giving enthusiastic consent to start or continue with the scene, the scene should not start or should end immediately.

Safe words are used during a scene to notate either a need to pause, change activities, or stop a scene altogether. Safe words can vary from person to person but commonly we will see Yellow = pause/switch activity/check-in and Red = Full stop.

A hard limit refers to a boundary in which someone does not want to visit or attempt and is not up for negotiation. Hard limits can vary and change over time depending on the person or situation.

A soft limit refers to a boundary in which someone is not enthusiastically seeking to cross, but may be open to the idea of experiencing with the right partner in the right situation. Soft limits should be kept in mind when playing and can be pushed up against to explore whether or not the person is open to continued exploration or would like to move it to the hard limit list.

SSC refers to a framework in the community that helps to keep participants in play as safe as possible. This framework can work as a guideline as to what is acceptable and tends to lean towards more safe practices that have minimal potential for high risk outcomes.

RACK allows for more edgier forms of play in the BDSM community while keeping the participants in the scene as safe as possible. Risk-aware simply signifies that the participants are aware of the risks involved but have communicated and consented to continuing through with the scene.

CNC refers to activities in which the parties involved have agreed to a scene in which consent is not going to be given and the Top/Dominant in this scene will proceed as they choose to, consent or not. Note: safe words are still applicable here